Natalie Tootie

Recently at the All Things Digital conference, Microsoft showed an almost completely useless form of multi-touch technology they are preparing for the next version of Windows. The demoer moved some things around, zoomed them, rotated them. You know, things you do every day. As usual, Microsoft has completely missed the point. Apple was successful with multi-touch on the iPhone because it made things you actually do on a phone easier.

But the best part was this exchange between Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, and their interviewers on the topic of Microsoft acquiring Yahoo:

[Microsoft CEO Steve] Ballmer: To accelerate scale it made sense for us to consider a Yahoo acquisition. The truth of the matter is, if nobody else gets scale except the current leader, what happens? … Some day all the ads for The Wall Street Journal Online might be sold by one guy and he’ll tell you exactly how much your editorial is worth.

Kara: Yeah, like a monopoly. Interesting.

Walt: That’s a great point. That’s exactly the sort of argument that was made against Microsoft.

Ballmer: Am I saying there’s something wrong? I’m just saying we are guys who will compete. That’s all I’m saying.

Gates: Guys like us avoid monopolies. We like to compete.

First of all, this argument doesn’t make any sense. Ignoring their spurious reference to “scale”: There’s no competition with Google, except for Yahoo, but only if we buy them. Right…

Second, did Microsoft just set a stretch goal of coming off as complete assholes for this conference? Why doesn’t the board of directors just stuff a dirty jockstrap in Steve Ballmer’s mouth already and call it a day. And hasn’t Bill Gates left the building yet? “We like to compete.” Indeed.