I hate getting old. But it’s not an ego thing, or a youth thing. I love the part about getting older and wiser, and potentially smarter. I’m not concerned about my looks, in fact I am probably happier with how I look now than I ever have been.
What I have is separation anxiety from the past. For instance Star Trek. I don’t want Star Trek: The Next Generation to have occurred so far in the past. I don’t want the actors to be getting older. It makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.
And it’s starting to seem old. The technology in the show is not as good as what we could imagine today. I mean it’s still pretty good, but every once in a while there’s something we now know we would never want to happen.
The thing is, I don’t want to go back. Definitely not. With all it’s imperfection life now is better than life then.
I guess I just feel like there are some things in the past that I really liked. And I miss those things. There hasn’t been another show as good as Star Trek: The Next Generation, or Deep Space 9. And I don’t know if there will be. And that makes me sad.
I also have a longing for Las Vegas before Roy got mauled by the tiger. I never saw their show, which I now regret, but Siegfriend and Roy were really the mascots for Las Vegas. Nobody is replacing them or can replace them. And Las Vegas used to be the perfect combination of trashy and decadent. Now it’s a bunch of copycat hotels with no personality. I want the themes back! I think Las Vegas hit it’s high right after Bellagio opened. After that it’s been all downhill.
Maybe it’s because I’ve changed so much. I mean, the truth is, I think I’ve changed more in the last two years than most people change in their life. It’s been a rocky road, and it has been and still is hard.
It was nice to be so secure and so naive that I could blithely take my experiences for granted, and that’s how it should have been. Now I’m older and wiser and I know better than to take things for granted. But I miss it, that’s the luxury of youth.